I recently published a blog about my blog. I know, that sounds weird, but hear me out. A reader had an extremely negative reaction to something I wrote. And no, I didn’t write about politics or religion. I wrote a blog about the benefits of drinking more water (link below) . No, I’m not kidding. And this person was not happy about it. She told me so. Repeatedly. And it hurt my feelings.
So, what did I do in response? I wrote a blog to the rest of you expressing how this had made me feel. And, WOW! I never expected what I got. My cup runneth over. Readers responded with so much love and support I could not believe it! People wrote and came in in person. They said they were mad for me. They hurt for me. And they thought the issue was more with my disgruntled reader than anything I had written. It filled my heart to near exploding. I think this really illustrates why words matter, our topic for today. So here goes…
Why Words Matter: Because We All Experience Lows
Everyone, and I mean everyone, has bad stuff happen to them. They may have a health crisis, or be going through a divorce. Maybe they’ve experienced the death of a loved one, a pet or a job. Perhaps they have a chronic illness or something else BIG. Everyone will also know, or does know, someone in the ring, going the rounds, with some awful thing.
Loving your people (and yourself) through these times can truly make a difference… maybe not in the outcome… but certainly in the journey. These tough periods are one of the most important times when your words matter. What you say in these times can show love and support, like the response I got. But even well meaning words can be toxic. Because words that you think are helpful can sometimes be hurtful and uncaring to a person staring down the nose of a huge life challenge . Consider this cheat sheet comparison…
Why Words Matter: A Cheat Sheet
| Toxic Words | Supportive Words of Validation |
| You’ll get over it. | This is hard. I understand. |
| Just be positive | Do you want to talk about it? |
| Good vibes only! | It’s normal to have some negative thoughts right now. |
| Stop being so negative! | I know it’s hard to be positive right now with what you’re facing. |
| Think happy thoughts! | Do you want to talk about your options? |
| Never give up! | It sucks to feel like this/go through this. Do you feel like doing something together today? |
| Just be happy! | It’s probably hard to see any good in this situation right now. |
| It could be worse! | I know what’s happening doesn’t make a lot of sense right now. |
| Everything happens for a reason. | I’m here for you. |
| Be grateful it isn’t worse! | I’m not going anywhere. |
| They are in a better place. | This isn’t easy and you don’t have to pretend that it is. |
| At least you’re in remission. | It’s ok to be scared about this coming back. |
Why Words Matter: What You Can Do
You can help your friends by looking at this list and noticing the subtle differences. A person that is having a rough day because they stubbed their toe can, most often, handle the comments on the left. A person dealing with life and death and situations that feel worse than life and death need more from you. They need your shoulder to cry on and maybe even your sleeve to wipe up their messy face. They need words that matter and the best your heart has to give. I know I can count on the best readers in the world to bring it… because you already gave it to me.
Oh yeah, I almost forgot, here’s the troublesome blog that started this all in the first place: Health Benefits of Drinking Water. And my response: Marianne’s Consignment Confessions.
1 Comment
Dale Fink
February 10, 2025 at 1:51 pmThank you, Marianne. This list is so important, and I wish everyone could read it and let it sink in. People, unfortunately, don’t always think before they speak, or just repeat something generic and meaningless because they can’t think of what else to say. And then, of course, they are focused on their own thoughts and issues. One of the keys to all of this is the skill of being a good listener. That is often more important than any words you can offer.