My Mom just moved into assisted living. It’s a great transition for her. Part of the process, however, was selling her home and distributing her heirlooms and other possessions that she no longer needs or has room for. With this recent experience, as well as what I have learned owning a home consignment store for 20 years, I can tell you that this passing on of heirlooms isn’t always easy. But there are a few things I can share about the process that may help you when your time comes.
Tell The Story When You’re Considering Passing on Heirlooms
I took my grandmother’s Persian rug from Mom’s house. I wanted it because I remember so many times sitting on the floor as kids at Grammy’s house and then my kids sitting on that same rug at my Mom’s. It’s an heirloom. It belonged, originally, to my Great Grandmother. To me, it’s more. It has a story. When I asked my kids if they’d like something from Mom’s house it was a little different. They did not connect to things in her home. That’s when I realized that Mom hadn’t shared the story of any of her possessions with them. They weren’t heirlooms to be treasured, they were just things.
So the first lesson when you’re considering passing down your heirlooms, is to tell your family the story behind your treasured things. Tell them the adventure you were on when you bought it with your husband. Or tell them how your Great Aunt Harriet left it to your Dad in her will. Share the crazy, the touching or simply the value. The more they know, the more likely they are to want what you have.
Ask Them What They Want When Passing Down Heirlooms
Connected to telling the story, but slightly different, is surveying your family to know what they actually connect with. This one may really surprise you. When my girls were here for Christmas, I decided to do just that. Well, knock me over with feather, they do not want what I expected. They want the Christmas tree ornaments! Specifically, they want Santa in the Ferrari and Santa riding the Orca. I know. They remember decorating the tree and being excited to be the one choosing the spot for those special ornaments. Wouldn’t have known if I didn’t ask.
If family members want specific things, remember to write it down somewhere, or record it in your will. This avoids the fights that you may not be around to mediate.
Keep A Log of Possessions When Passing Down Heirlooms
Another way to go about this is to get a Household Possessions Inventory Book. These types of books gives you a spot to record your important heirlooms. This kind of a log allows you to list your things and add values and descriptions. Your family can use it as a guide if something happens to you. You can also use it yourself in the case of a loss due to burglary, fire or flood. Keep it in your fireproof box or in your safety deposit box.
Give It To Them While You’re Alive
One of the most satisfying things to do, when passing down heirlooms is to give them away whilst you’re still around. You will see the joy in their faces when receiving these items. You will also get the pleasure of watching them use your heirloom that is now their heirloom. When I turned 50 my Dad gifted me a set of flatware that had been in our family. Every time he came to dinner afterward, I used the flatware. It made him smile. I can hear him, “Did I tell you the story about this set, Baby Girl?” He had, but I let him tell me again anyway. It made us both happy.
And Now For A Little Music Before We Go…
Good luck with the process, my friends. Marianne
To read more related topics, checkout my previous blogs like: Ways To Preserve, Protect and Appreciate Your Family Heirlooms and A Letter to My Mom With Alzheimer’s.
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